Fear of Criticism


While going through the preface there was this thing the author said,

وإن أبيت إلا الملام فبابه مفتوح، وكلنا ظلوم جهول، ولله يعفو عنا وعنكم، والله سبحانه وحده الذي استأثر بالكمال والجمال، واختص بالحمد والثناء، وهو يقول الحق ويهدي السبيل، وهو عالم السر والخفيات، ودافع الشر والبليات.

Which I understood in a way that,

“If you don’t find this book beneficial and have to criticize then just go on! Because we are stamped to commit mistakes and only Allah is the one who has the perfection & He is the one who deserves all the praises.”

This thing actually clicked me, because the author seems so positive and relaxed after putting his efforts in the book that he is like, if the people have to comment and criticize on the book, they should go on, because he has done his part well and only Allah is the one who is perfect and deserves all the praises and Hamd.

The best part is that all the criticism is not stopping him from doing good, rather he is very much positive. He realizes that even if there are any mistakes in the book, he just knows that humans can commit mistakes and that is normal and the best human is the one who repents whenever he makes a mistake.

This made me think about what we do! Or especially I do, because this statement of him made me do my CRITICAL ANALYSIS.

Some of us have this hypersensitivity to rejection; we are very self-critical about our problems related to others and that ends up that we sometimes we feel inferior to others. And yes! That is so BAD.

How it happens?

We have to do something, we put all our efforts in it and then there it is: we are scared of not letting a single thing go wrong, well that actually does makes us fatigued and stressed out which exactly affects our performance and if something goes wrong, the negativity of devil takes control of us and what happens..

“That one tiny black dot seems HUGE to us”.

And throughout the time we think about why did that go wrong? What were the reasons? If I had done it this way it shouldn’t have been messed up and blah blah blah! -_-

There is another reason that makes things more difficult for us i.e. The immediate *good* response from people that we expect, we do things and expect to be appreciated immediately and when we are not appreciated or even an error is pointed out we take that criticism negatively and instead of being relaxed or trying to figure the error out we start cursing!

And according to our “Wikipedia Guru” this Fear of Criticism and being hypersensitive to rejection are some of the symptoms of a mental disorder called “Avoidant Personality Disorder”, but that is on extreme later stage when we become socially inept and start avoiding social interaction for fear of being ridiculed and humiliated, rejected or sometimes disliked.

So, WHAT to DO?

The solution is just one action i.e. Realization.

Realization of the one thing that humans are stamped for making mistakes and sometimes we just slip off without knowing. We have the examples of our father Adam (`alayhissalaam), who was lured by Iblees and tasted the fruit which was forbidden for him, then it is Musa (`alayhissalaam), that a person died accidentally because of him.

But what were their reactions? They both realized their mistakes and sought forgiveness from Allah (subhaanahu wa ta`aalaa).

The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said,

All the sons of Adam are sinners and the best among the sinners are those who repent.
(Ahmad and others)

When we realize that we are creatures called “humans” and we can slip or commit mistakes knowingly or unknowingly, things can go wrong sometimes but the best solution is to seek forgiveness from Allah (subhaanahu wa ta`aalaa), He is the Ghafoor-ur-Raheem. He is our Creator and He loves us more than 70 mothers then why would He not like His creation to come back to him after realization of the mistake?

So, instead of being negative and reacting so insanely on things we can just take criticism positively, act like a reasonably sensible person and be the best sinner who whenever happens to make a mistake just goes back to Allah instantly.


One comment on “Fear of Criticism

  1. Very good lesson derived, we need to make an intention before doing anything that I am doing it to please my Lord, then our performance will be at its best and if something goes wrong/rejected we will not take it on our heart because Allah knows our weaknesses. If you cook food, putting best of your efforts to please Allah Talah then if someone from home do appreciate or not, it will not make a
    big difference. If appreciated you will be more grateful to Allah for giving you instant happiness and if not still you know your ajr with Allah is there.,

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